update-

So tonight, I laid my feelings and emotions right out there in plain view. Thanks to those who responded to my previous "question-" blog. I decided when I got home from work tonight to write a simple one-page letter, nothing too crazy or deep, but one in which I pretty much divulged my feelings and how happy I am right now.

I met him out at a bar, Saturday is kind of our off night and he works early Sundays so we've just been drinking a bit at some dirty bar in Cleveland. There were many more people involved tonight, some old friends whom I haven't seen in a while, so things were a bit different and very entertaining. But I had my letter ready to go for the end of the night when we said goodbye.

I didn't get fancy with presents or anything. I mean, come on, let's not get ridiculous... its been a month, but I think we're at the point to reveal how we're feeling to each other.

I realized, too, after writing this note... that I love "A". Not in love, but I love him as a person and he makes me so happy. He had actually mentioned it when we first got together tonight. He said he wasn't in love with me but he loves me... he doesn't want to sound crazy to me, and that it would take more time for something deeper, which I'm fine with. I revealed that I love him too. He was so glad I felt the same way and it wasn't one-sided, which just made me love him even more.

We talked a lot tonight. He told me his mother has been pushing for him to transfer from the community college we both go to for a bigger school in another state several hundred miles away. He told me about this early this morning, and I told him to go for it. Don't hold back because of me, please! I don't want someone to regret anything based on me. I thought about this all day though... if he would transfer in a year, is this thing we're doing pointless? "I'm not going anywhere. I met you." I re-iterated my beliefs but he said he used to want to get out of town, now it doesn't really matter. He's got me here, and that's more important. They are meeting on Monday to talk for a bit, and I have a really odd feeling he will come out to her then. Maybe not, but he said he wanted to let her know he is in a relationship and ... well, I'll just leave it at that for now and see what happens. Its all up to him, I'm not pushing him in any certain direction whatsoever.

I listened to some Tim McGraw on the way home after seeing him. I hate country. At least, I hated it before. "A" has completely turned me on to it. I'm not going to turn into some bushwhacking hill-jack but seriously, the right country songs are so perfect for situations that you find yourself in. Its so weird. All the way home, I would hit "random" on my iPod and a country song would come on, totally giving my feelings at that moment a stamp of approval.

Oh man, I'm so happy right now. I don't know where this is going nor do I want to focus on it, but it is what it is. I'm falling in love, and I can actually say it now. More importantly, he feels the exact same way.