what a blah day.

i probably shouldn't have gone out last night, but you know what? screw meetings at work at 8am on a sunday morning. wtf. i told my GM yesterday that i wouldn't be showing up because i was going to be in church. he laughed right in my face. i chuckled a bit too, but wished my little excuse would have worked. i didn't pick up a shift today so i figured i'd go out and get a little buzzed. it was saturday night after all.

it was so boring though. my little muscleboy was in canada for his 21st birthday with friends (they're all underage, hah) so i went out with a couple gay friends, a couple straight friends. it seemed like we all just started laying around in the big leather chairs at the bar, staring at each other and yawning. that was as good as it was going to get, i suppose. they all ended up leaving and i went to another little gay dive and had all three of my old men surrounding me... all three over 45 years of age, and all of them giant muscle daddy's. which i've come to like, these days! i've been on dates with all three of them. nothing serious. i like the flirtatious aspect of it all. and they're all friends with each other so its so weird, watching them vie for my attention. they know it, too.

ew oh yea... before that, when i got home from work, two of my neighbors were talking outside my apartment. i shuffled quickly into my place and shut the door. a minute later, i heard a knock. i was invited to my first apartment building conference. i got slightly bitched at about my parking jobs (i guess i take up too much space with my jeep, whatever though!) and then was told i have an east ohio accent. the conversation was stuffy and slightly annoying. one of my neighbors is gay too, and i really don't think i come off as being gay (unless he hears my madonna music blasting in my place) but he ended up asking me if i hung out at twist, a gay bar at the end of my block. i said i did. i think he may have been grasping to see if i was gay or not. so we ended up talking for a while in the hallway. today, after my terribly long and extremely boring work meeting, i ended up passing out on my couch til mid afternoon. when i woke up and left to grab food, there was a note taped to my door. it was a note asking if i'd like to get a drink sometime, left by the gay guy. that's cool, he seems nice. but the note just sort of left me with a feeling that he wants to mess around. i just sense things like that. as soon as the sun was setting, i was in my bedroom and happened to look through my mini-blinds. i live in the corner top floor of an L-shaped building and the gay guy lives literally adjacent to me, i can sort of see into his windows if the blinds are open. and he rarely opens the blinds up all the way so i don't see much. but this time, all the blinds were open to the top of the windows, giving me a view of everything in his place. i have seen into this one room before next to my bedroom, but this time.... there were tons of pictures of half naked muscle guys and underwear models completely collaging the wall. i swear to god, those weren't there before. and this dude is like, 45 years old. it looked like the dorm room of a skanky young college girl! i love my men, but the only thing i ever do is put some wallpaper on my computer screen. anyway, that kind of freaked me out, and made me think he's just some pervert. i am too, but i wouldn't open up my blinds and let him see that. i just felt like he was doing it on purpose to see if it would somehow catch my attention.... i have no clue.

so aside from all that noise, i wrote the fastest research paper for my business admin class that i've ever written in my life. why i waited until 8pm to start it the night that it was due at midnight is beyond me. but i did. so i literally conducted all the research (online websites and books only, of course) and wrote a quick 6 pages and proofread as i went along. we'll see what i get on that tragedy of a paper. i think for an english class it would be complete and utter garbage, but for a business class, i doubt it matters so much. as long as points were made, blah. who cares. i'm interested to see what my professor will say.

i did talk to muscleboy for a few minutes today, just via text. he just got back from canada a few hours ago. i really hate to refer to him as that now, he is really turning out to be something i hardly expected. we hang out a few nights a week, he sleeps over each time, grabs me coffee in the morning, and says really cute things. he wants to date, i guess, and i said i'd give it a shot. and the other day he said to me, "september 26th." i was like, "what?" he replied, "september 26th. the day i met you." now, if that isn't sweet, i don't know what is. he told me he wished i was with him in canada, he came out to his straight friends there and they totally blew him off all night. on his birthday. i really felt bad for the kid.

yea thats about it. i'm feeling a little weird lately too, i haven't talked to my mom and dad in almost 2 months. not even on my birthday. my niece doesn't email me anymore, i dunno. things just feel really weird. i'm getting more and more disconnected from certain people and especially my family. i know everyone's busy, but gosh, no one is really that busy when it comes down to it. the only thing thats making me feel better right now is that our deal at the restaurant just ended today, so i can't wait to dash people's hopes and dreams of being fat pigs at dinnertime. and i got my security deposit back last week on my old apartment, so finally i feel caught up on bills, a bit. its been a month and a half struggle to pay anything close to on time. maybe i'll get to see madonna in november after all! hopefully tickets in detroit don't sell out, i'm so there. i'll go by myself, i don't even care.